HANOI -- area code (84-4)

Vietnam's capital city is lively and full of charm. The diminutive old quarter is a canton of shady, tree-lined lanes with names like "Comb Street" that reflect the goods traditionally sold from its shophouses. In fact, virtually any patch of open street or sidewalk is turned into a place to sell anything or park a motor bike. Pedestrians are often forced to share the road with traffic in an intricate ballet that must be quickly mastered the moment you ease out of your hotel (don't dash!).

Hoan Kiem Lake sits at the hub of the old city, a jade mirror reflecting the French colonial facades and Chinese ornamentation that have both contributed to the city's heritage. The Opera House and classic Metropole Hotel are at one end and the old quarter and markets are at the other. For shopping, you might want to bring a calculator with you: Vietnam's instant millionaire Monopoly money is fun to play with but exhausting to manage.

While there are plenty of gays in Hanoi, most are cornered into marriage and raising a family, and they don't frequent public spots where they might be subject to gossip. This makes for a quiet gay scene at mostly mixed places. The Internet has become the primary method for educated, working gays to meet each other and foreigners. This shadowy life has also made gay tourists a target for scams and hustlers -- Hanoi is full of smiling, fresh faces that flirt for fun and are looking to seize any opportunity to rise up out of poverty. But local gays want you to know that criminal characters are in the minority, and you'll have a lovely time here if you just use your common sense and, again, don't dash into anything. We suggest you make some friendly contacts online before you arrive, rather than succumb to visions in Hanoi's romantic haze.

The metropolitan population of Hanoi is nearing 4 million (that's about 160,000 Utopians).

• Hanoi Gay Scene Updates message forum
• Men in Hanoi message forum

The expanded and updated 2nd Edition of the Utopia Guide to Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar & Vietnam offers a remarkable insider's glimpse at the gay and lesbian scene in 18 cities including Hanoi, Ho Chi Minh City/Saigon, Vientiane, Luang Prabang, Yangon/Rangoon, Phnom Penh, and Angkor Wat/Siem Reap. Enjoy savvy comments and recommendations from local Utopians, as well as gay travelers. Click here to order

• Hai Dang (Light House)
  736-6653. A club, under the auspices of the Center for HIV/AIDS and Sexually Transmitted Disease Prevention, which offers social support and HIV education to the GLBT community as well as sponsoring events and activities.

Click here for Hanoi hotels and accommodations.

• Aqua Club
  333 Kim Ma, Ngoc Khanh, Ba Dinh Dist (right at the corner of Ngoc Khanh St and Kim Ma St), 090-417-0569, email.

  Comments from Utopians:

  "I visited this newly opened bar last night. The bar is small but cozy. Many local gays there. Located right in downtown Hanoi. It's very easy to find, just show the address and your taxi driver will take you there." -- LeHung, Mar 28, 2010

• Cay Xoai (mixed)
  Truc Bach lake. Gay-owned.
• Connect Café
  So 8, Duong 2, Khu Tap The F361, An Duong, Quan Tay Ho, 717-1227. Located near Hanoi's west lake, about 15 minutes by taxi from Hoan Kiem Lake.
• GC (Golden Cock)
  5 Bao Khanh St, (just west of Hoan Kiem Lake). Upscale, western music, pool table. Tends to be packed on Sat between 10-11pm as it closes early. Guys here are pretty friendly, but they seem very shy and you may have to talk to them first. Not many people on weekdays.
• Solace Bar (mixed)
  Chuong Duong Do St, across Hong Ha St, on Red River next center. After GC bar closes, gays move here. It has a very good crowd from midnight-2am, with hiphop beats.

• Ami Massage
  G/F, Room 108, D3 Bld (between A and B Bld at the rear), Ngoc Khanh St, Ba Dinh Dist, Utopia Map, 090-485-1075. Gay-owned massage for men. Four massage rooms, steam bath and shower area. It is about 10 minutes from downtown by motorcycle or taxi. Open daily from noon-10:30pm. No outcall.

  Comments from Utopians:

  "I've been twice now and intend going back again. There are usually 6 or more nice looking young masseurs, 18-25yo, able to give you a great massage in a pleasant and relaxed atmosphere." -- james2010, May 3, 2010

  "Went to Ami Massage today. Very small place, hard to find. About four masseurs on hand, all quite cute and under 25. Tip was very, very resonable (only D$200,000). Worth going." -- keang, Apr 27, 2010

  "It is a bit small, but very nice. Equipment is new and clean. The package massage includes masseur shower - you lie on the bed and masseur cleans you - it is so nice and relaxing, and you can take a steam bath also. Price was D$100,000 plus tip for masseur around D$200,000 (about D$300,000 total). Masseurs are around 20-24yo and nice." -- guy_in_hanoi, Apr 11, 2010

  "My outcall masseur arrived a couple of hours late, just as I was about to go out. He turned out to be very friendly and professional, with a great service to boot. Final verdict, excellent massage." -- ovate, Apr 2, 2010

  "The only real massage for men in Hanoi. I visited last week. This is a nice, clean, but small, place. The masseurs were so nice." -- LeHung, Mar 16, 2010

  Comments from Utopians:

  "For those of you visiting tam quat style massage places (see comments below), be careful! The masseurs may give you a good massage (if you like pounding and slapping), but they may also try to extort money from you. Don't be intimidated, negotiate all terms up front, and don't let any additional masseurs touch you unless you're willing to tip them all individually. Don't go to a private room where they may lock the door and menace you until they get what they want. Visitors are well-advised to stick to fixed price establishments or gay-run places." -- webmaster, Apr 20, 2010

  "All other massage places in Hanoi are traditional tam quat. For example hcmpp's comment below is a tam quat. They are not a professional massage place and are often dirty. They don't have private rooms or steam bath. They are for male and female, not for gays. Never, never ask a xe om taxi (motor bike) about massage for gay, coz they don't know." -- guy_in_hanoi, Apr 11, 2010

  "Asked a taxi driver if any massage-by-men places - he said many. First though took me to a guy standing outside the Opera House with his motorbike - but not quite my type. He said massage place would be a bit dirty for me - I said I would try. Took me to Ngo 52 Hang Bun - near the Old Quarter. Had three early-20s masseurs downstairs - one greeted me from the taxi and took me upstairs. Room with sliding door and 3/4 high brick walls. Mattress on the ground. Went to the shower - mimed for a towel and got some soap and then a small piece of sheet to dry myself on. Had 5 minutes of having my back chopped and slapped before asked to turn over. As about to leave another masseur beckoned me upstairs and had similar and then masseurs seemed to be queuing up - after four I had enough, but three more waiting downstairs. One spoke a bit of English and said he was a student. Yes, a bit dirty, but will try again." -- hcmpp, Apr 10, 2010

• Bao Khanh St (just west of Hoan Kiem Lake). The outdoor coffee shops at the bend in the road are very cruisy.
• Hang Khong (airline) swimming pool
• Ho Tay lake
• Hoan Kiem Lake -- beware of rip-off criminals posing as friendly gays.
• outside the walls of the French Embassy
• Lao Dong swimming pool
• Lenin Park -- beware of rip-off criminals posing as friendly gays.
• Thien Quang lake, especially cruisy, but beware of rip-off criminals posing as friendly gays.

• Daluva Wine | Tapas | Events
  33 To Ngoc Van St, Tay Ho Dist, Utopia Map, 3718-5831, email. Trendy, gay and lesbian-friendly neighborhood restaurant and bar, 15 minutes from Hoan Kiem Lake. All-day breakfasts, such as eggs Benedict, plus fresh salads, Aussie steaks, tapas and small plates. Great cocktails. They gladly help visitors get the lay of the land. Also see their listing for Daluva Home lodging under Accommodations. Plus car and driver and travel and tour services. Open from 8am-late. Utopia Member Discount
• Little Hanoi (French and Vietnamese)
  21 Hang Gai St (just a block away from Hoan Kiem Lake), 828-8333. Not as yummy as street food (tasteless quiche, uninspired spring rolls), but a charming and clean interior that attracts local expats and tourists alike. Two rooms, one with a long bar, and tables at the windows for people watching. Open daily from 7:20am-9:30pm.

Click here for Hanoi saunas for men.